Recently, I won a public speaking contest at Toastmasters for engaging humour. My speech was titled “The Mystery of My First and Last Name.”
I am sharing a true story and chronological events from the last 40 years with a subtle stroke of drama.
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My name is Dave.
My name is Krunal.
My name is Da Way (દવે).
My name is Kunu.
Some people also call me David.
You might be wondering why I have multiple names. I practise the Hindu religion.
Our Gods have millions of names. At least, I deserve six names. Isn’t it fair?
Part 1: Pet Name
My real name is Krunal, and that’s the name on my passport and birth certificate. However, if I recall my infant subconscious memory, my mom called me Kunu in less than 24 hours.
To this day, I am thankful to my mother for not giving my father a chance.
Born into an Indian family and having every father’s dream for his son to be in IT, he could have announced, “Oh, my intelligent son, you will become a Network Engineer. Let me give you an IP Address as your name. And port number 3385 as your pet name.“
Fortunately, that didn’t happen.
I loved my pet name – Kunu.
Short. Sweet. Simple.
The only problem with Kunu was that it had no boundaries. In India, the pet name extends outside the home, like an amoeba, to the neighbourhood, school, known relatives, and unknown relatives who live far, far galaxy away.
I don’t think it’s an Indian issue. It’s universal.
Nobody called me Krunal till I was 19. However, a significant event occurred in 2000.
Part 2: The Blunder
I was heading to Bangalore for engineering, ready to establish my real identity in college. I had already rehearsed my name and introduction for all the girls I hadn’t met, but that joy vanished on the first day.
While taking attendance, a professor announced my full name as “DAVE KERNEL”.
He flipped my first and last name like a dosa, an Indian crepe. He gave birth to a new first name (Dave) and reincarnated my real name (Kernel). It made me popular on the first day as a few South Indian guys came and started calling me Dave!
Part 3: Dave As Boomerang Karma
I had to settle for Dave throughout my college life. However, a brand new chapter was about to begin when I came to Australia in 2007 for my master’s degree. Nobody knew me in Australia. I had no intention to carry Dave. However, it didn’t work.
I was a student and part-time salesman, selling Gas and Electricity. I knocked on doors for business clients but struggled to sell a product. All I brought was $2000 from India, evaporating from my pocket.
Angelo, my Sri Lankan team leader, was aware of my struggle. One day, he asked me, “Krunal, what’s the problem?”
“I’m not sure. I am not able to build rapport with customers. When I introduce my name, “Krunal, “most of them can’t understand. I feel like I am knocking on the door to teach my first name.” I expressed my concern.
“Why don’t you introduce yourself as Dave?” He suggested an idea.
“Dave? That’s a new information.” I said to myself.
I felt Dave, like karma, coming from India to Australia at a boomerang speed.
I was lost in thoughts, and Angelo added more to sell his idea.
“Yes, try Dave. It will work because – It’s easy. It’s Aussie. And, it sells.”
Angelo was right.
I started introducing myself as Dave. It worked. I made my first sale and received a $40 commission. I made a second sale, a third, a fourth, and so on. I realised that using Dave has become a cash-back offer!
Part 4: Three Indian Cowboys
I wasn’t happy personally using my name as Dave, but I was making money, so I convinced myself to let Dave be my professional name. I could still introduce myself as Krunal to make friends, but it didn’t work.
Three key events happened.
The good part was I made two friends in Uni in the first week. We are still friends after 15 years.
The bad part was that their names were Kunal and Mrunal. One did not include the “r” in his name, and the other was just a replacement from “k” to “m”.
The ugly part was we, three Indian cowboys, decided to be roommates.
If you think I have referred to the classic film “The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly,” there is more.
The worst part was our fourth roommate, who had to live with our name’s confusion under the same roof. The conversation often became bizarre when he relayed phone messages between the cowboys.
One day, I called him from outside, and he relayed the message in the house, “Hey Kunal, can you tell Mrunal that Krunal won’t be able to cook today.”
A poor guy would often scratch his head. He spent more time flow charting our names in the Venn diagram than washing his clothes in the laundry. His patience was saturated, and he declared an ultimatum in the house.
“Either you three share my rent, or you (pointing at me) change your name to Da Way.”
For some mysterious reason, I was the punchline in Kunal, Mrunal, and Krunal, which sounded like a Bollywood sitcom. I had to adapt દવે – Da Way, the Indian dialect of my Gujarati Brahmin surname, while the one without “r” and with “m” escaped.
Part 5: Dave Krunal And Beyond
My identity’s alteration and evolution were organic. However, I loved them because they were part of me.
People started calling me Dave at work, and friends called me Da Way (દવે).
I lost hope in my real name, but life surprised me when I married in 2011. My newlywed wife declared that my name, “Krunal,” was one of the attractive factors.
“Really?”
It took some time to digest my self-doubt, but it clarified things because only my wife calls me Krunal. She owns 100% of the copyright.
Finally, I have settled my identity.
“Dave” is a professional name.
“Da Way (દવે)” for friends.
“Kunu” for parents and relatives.
“Krunal” is reserved for my wife.
I use “David” when I feel like using the long form of “Dave”.
I hand-picked and merged my two core identities. It evolved to “Dave Krunal”.
I thank my wife and friends for supporting my pseudonym, “Dave Krunal”. This identity has created a filmmaker, photographer, writer, reader, and self-reflection within me. This website expresses my freedom of speech, perspectives, and stories that inspire and disturb me.
As a cybersecurity consultant, Dave is also a security metaphor. My real name, Krunal, is a private key stored in a secure vault, while Dave is the public key accessible to everyone. Dave has helped to create Dave On Cyber, my professional brand, where I blend cybersecurity with filmmaking and creative storytelling.
Our identities are the only thing over which we don’t have control. They are just given to us when we are born.
When society and unexpected circumstances give you a new identity, it simply means you don’t choose life; life chooses you.
If you find some humour in my story, it also means that you never choose humour; Humour chooses you.
Sense of humour is not for a good time. It’s for a bad time. It keeps you going when you feel down.
Final Part: Call Me Dave Because
I like it when people call me Dave. However, I still encounter a few people who are adamant and call me Krunal.
I admire such people because they have the right intentions. But the conversation often goes like this.
“Please call me Dave.”
“No. I will call you Krunal, which is your real name.”
“Call me Dave, please. It’s easy.”
“Krunal is authentic.”
“Okay, here’s the deal. I will give you three reasons why you should call me Dave.”
First, My wife calls me Krunal.
Second, I have been married for a decade.
Third, Married Men don’t listen.
Good luck!
